Modesty Q&A: March Edition


Hey y’all! Today I am excited to have Reflections of the Heart’s first Q&A. Thank you for your questions! I hope that these answers are helpful and that you enjoy the post. : ) I have three bloggers answering questions today, so let me introduce them first!




1: How does being a Christian influence what I wear?

For me personally, being a Christian influences it because God is my king and I want to honor Him in everything that I do. That includes something seemingly trivial such as how I dress. Asking some of these questions are great when it comes to what I should wear. Would God be pleased with my outfit right now? Does it point others to my creator? Or point towards myself and what I want out of a situation? Honoring God can also be the same as Honoring parents because He tells us to do this multiple times in the Bible. So, if my parents have serious doubts about my outfit or an article of clothing, perhaps I should give it some thought and ask myself some questions. Another good question to ask to figure out if what your wearing is okay is this: WHY am I wearing this?


Because of my Christian beliefs I am very careful of how I present myself in all manner, be it the way I speak or the way I dress. I believe God wants Christians to dress modestly and treat our bodies with respect, since Jesus paid a mighty high price for them! Modest dressing shows the world that I have different beliefs and that I don’t need to show skin to feel good about myself (which is actually an observation a non Christian friend made about me!).  


2: How can I know if what I’m wearing is modest? 

In some ways, modesty is in the eyes of the beholder. For me, I believe what I’m wearing is modest if it draws attention to my countenance and good works, not my body.


Determining if something is modest is, what I believe, a personal conviction. There is no exact right and wrong such as no skin above the knee, and no necklines below your collar bone etc etc. that are universal, but I strongly encourage you to get with God and your parents, talk through these things and make yourself your own guideline that is written down so that there are as few grey areas as possible. Then, if your outfit matches with your own guidelines that you chose. . . you are good to go!

I will use my guidelines as an example:

Necklines should not show any cleavage when I move around in a normal and active way.

No skirts above the top of my knee.

Heels are to be no taller than 2.5 inches.

When wearing jeans, Tunics need to be long enough so as not to show my backside or my crotch.

Also, I am really careful about clothes that are really tight in certain areas. Aka. Bust and backside. I don’t want to expose myself that way.

But, as an overall look at what you are wearing is modest, ask yourself this question.

When someone looks at my outfit, what are their eyes drawn too?

If their eyes are being drawn to areas of your body that you wouldn’t feel comfortable showing off, maybe you should re-evaluate.

I hope my thoughts have been a help and an encouragement to you! And, just something extra. . . you aren’t alone in this journey of modesty. There are so many girls out there who know what you are going through and can sympathize with your struggle, because it is real. But it is a struggle worth winning!

God Bless!

By God’s Grace,


3: Should Girls Go to College?

 I believe girls should seek some type of higher education after high school. I completed a two year college program, although I never pursued a career in that area (but I did work full time after graduation). Taking part time classes in a special interest, such as art or literature, is a good use of time but also helps make one a well rounded individual. I believe all people should be continually learning new things, and college level courses are a great way to do so. 
– Christina

Learning is a great thing! If you have a specific field of work that you feel led to pursue that requires a college degree, by all means get that degree! If you don’t wish to leave home, you can always do it online or go to a local college. I don’t feel that college is a vital part of life for everyone, and it can become costly, but college in itself can be a good thing. My dad never went to college and my mom is still paying student loans for a degree she doesn’t use, so I recommend using discernment and really seeking God’s will for your life. Whether that be taking you from home, going to a local college, doing it online, or simply pursuing other things after high school.


What does the word “feminine mean to you and how would you define it?

To me, the word feminine means distinctly female. In our culture today, the line between femininity and masculinity is often blurred. My goal is to dress in a distinctly feminine manner while not being legalistic about it. I prefer to wear flowing skirts and pretty earrings, but sometimes you’ll find me in an old t-shirt. While in public, I do try to dress in a distinctly feminine way, I guess as a way to combat the current culture more than anything else.


Being feminine is almost a lost art. So many women nowadays try their hardest to be equal or equivalent to men. They reject their femininity that God gave them for…equality? God did not create us to be “equal.” We’re not inferior, but we’re different. We should celebrate that! Femininity to me is behaving like a lady and embracing gender differences.

  • -Melani

9 thoughts on “Modesty Q&A: March Edition

  1. Yay! Thanks for answering the questions, all of you! 🙂
    Hi Melani! (grins) It’s me again. I hope I am not nagging you, I really do. And I agree with so much of what you said! A question though. I copy and pasted this from your paragraph on college: “…my mom is still paying student loans for a degree she doesn’t use…” I think here the mentality is “get a degree to get a job”? Is that right? If it is, I’d like to ask you to think about it this way: Any education, whether it’s a homeschool geometry class or a college degree is NOT to merely get a job or to help you in the practicalities of life. While it can help you in a certain job position (even if that’s a mother :)), that’s not the main reason I would get a degree. We learn more and get degrees so that we can look at the world around us with knowledge and a more rounded Christian perspective; in other words, to be more human. God made the world, so shouldn’t we learn about it?
    I am, Lord Willing, going to get a college degree in music. Most people will ask: where are you going to work with that degree? What are you going to do with it? My answer is: Whatever God wants me to do. My sister is currently a Creative Writing major in college, and people ask her that all. the. time. Colleges these days seem to push degrees specifically for careers. But I do know that wherever I end up going and doing with that degree I will know more about the world God created for us, and I and my violin will glorify God, in church and outside of it.
    Thanks for posting, Melani and the rest of you. I really love good conversations, and I hope I do not sound disrespectful.
    In Christ,
    P.S. I did not address this up there, but one condition my family has for me and my sister going to college is no student loans or financial aid. My sister is paying her way through with scholarships and awards (I love my sister! She works so hard.), and I plan on following her example.


    1. Hey Olivia! Don’t worry about it. You’re not bothering anyone! I don’t quite agree with what you said, but that’s completely fine! I feel that getting real experiences/serving/traveling/everyday living will teach you more about life than sitting in a classroom. But that’s just me. I’m not against college, I just don’t think that you’re depriving yourself if you don’t pursue further schooling.
      Thank you for stopping by, Olivia!


  2. Amen! Melani, I agree with you on literally everything! Too bad you’re in GA, and I’m in MI, or we’d be good friends! I love your blog, and I’m so thankful to God that I found it! Blessings! 🙂 ❤


    1. Yeah, it’s too bad! I’d like to meet you! Well, maybe someday. Invite me to your wedding. (I’m kidding. 😉) Thank you for your encouraging words! You are a blessing!


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