Should Christian Girls Love Themselves?

We see self-love advocated everywhere these days. We’re told over and over that once we love ourselves, we can truly love other people and have a happy life… is this true?

I had a teacher once that really believed in loving herself. She had a lot of time for herself honestly; she had moved out of her parent’s house and was single. Maybe she was told her whole heart life to love herself, or maybe the mindset became hers when she lived by herself. I don’t know. But I do know that when she tried to teach us the whole “self-love” concept, it was totally new for me.

1: Does God Tell Us To Love Ourselves In Scripture?

I went online to see if I could find any Bible verses where God directly tells us to love ourselves. What I found was the exact opposite:

“But realize this, in the last days difficult time will come. For men will be LOVERS OF SELF, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy.”

2 Timothy 3:1-2

The list goes on further than that. It doesn’t look like loving yourself is put in a very positive light!

2: Is Loving Yourself The Key To Loving Others?

A lot of people say that if you have negative feelings toward yourself, you can’t possibly have positive feelings toward others. The solution? Fall in love with yourself. Then you’ll be happy and free to shower that happiness on others.

Um… not quite.

Loving yourself means that you’re important to yourself. Your feelings and wants are important. Self-love is a very “me-focused” mindset. Unintentionally, loving yourself will lead to you being your most important person… and possibly your own god.

Being so focused on yourself makes it harder to be focused on the needs of of others.

3: Will Loving Yourself Make You Happy?

Jesus. Others. Yourself. That’s the secret to joy. Placing yourself at the top of the list messes up everything.

The Lord wrote everything that we need to know in the Bible, and He asks for us to take up our cross, serve others, and die to self. Loving yourself is a worldly, secular mindset that’s definitely not from the Lord.

Should Christian Girls Love Themselves?

God loves you. But are you supposed to love yourself? No. Once we have God in the center of our lives, every other relationship will fall into its proper place. With ourselves AND with others. Count others more important than yourself and put your own needs last, and there you will find real and lasting joy.


9 thoughts on “Should Christian Girls Love Themselves?

  1. Wow, so true!!! Thanks so much for sharing this!! It is so easy to start loving ourselves when what will truly make us happy is loving God and loving others!


  2. This is an interesting topic, and I’ve been thinking about it lately.
    I’m not sure where I stand on the issue, but starting with Scripture I think that we should take into account Matthew 22:39, where Jesus says to love our neighbors as ourselves: He could have said to love our neighbor more than ourselves but instead he said “as” ourselves.

    So I think that there is a good way to love ourselves and a bad way: a good way is to know who we are, what is our dignity as human beings and God’s children. This knowledge allows us to draw the right boundaries and to know how we deserve to be treated.
    I also think that our wants and needs do count, to a certain extent. I believe that self love is bad, and becomes selfishness, when our needs and wants start to count more than anything else, and we want to have our way no matter the cost.

    I’m really curious to hear what you think!


  3. I guess I wouldn’t say we should necessarily *love* ourselves. But, the opposite end of the spectrum is self-hate, not being comfortable in who you are and who God created you to be, which I know is a HUGE issues among many girls these days. So a happy balance needs to be found. We need to learn to appreciate and “love” ourselves for who we are, and who God created us to be. But we also can’t take that too far, by putting our wants, needs and desires above other people and Jesus. Just my two cents’ worth. 🙂


  4. I’m not quite sure I agree with this Melani, unless I do not understand you correctly. God loves us so I believe we should love ourselves too. However, I am not advocating self-love. Rather, I believe we should honour and respect ourselves as a part of God’s creation. But we must love God first, others next, then ourselves. God’s commandment is to love our neighbours like we love ourselves. Meaning, what I’d do or want for myself, I should do the same to others. Yes, we should love ourselves but we must love God and others more.


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