Debunking The Most Popular Modesty Myths

A lot of what is taught about modesty is really far from the truth. There are several  extremes to jump to and while some of them have a bit of truth in them, they are oftentimes shadowed by a negative myth. In this post, I’m going to talk about some popular modesty myths floating around Pinterest, blogs, and social medias that need debunking. 

1. Modesty is optional based on what empowers you.

A lot of girls believe that how much skin you show is a personal choice. If you feel more comfortable in short-shorts and a crop top, then go for it! If you feel more comfortable in a long dress and head covering, then it’s up to you. This belief is warped because it leaves God out of the spectrum and makes you the only person who matters in the whole process. When you become your own boss based on your feelings, you are obviously leaving your faith (if you are a Christian) out of the question and opening yourself up for deceit. 

2. If you’re covered, you’re modest. 

The most covered girls can still be really immodest. Your actions are just as important, if not more so, then your clothes. When you put on your modest clothes but leave meekness and gentleness at home… your attempt to be modest has completely gone out the window. Because modesty is definitely more than what you wear!

3. Girls need to dress modestly (only) for guys.

I’ve always felt uncomfortable with hearing that you should cover yourself so guys won’t stumble. The way it’s often taught says that girls are responsible for guy’s thoughts, guys are completely off the hook because they just can’t control themselves, and girls bodies are just too tempting.

Does this sound super objectifying to you?

They had good intentions. The Bible does say not to cause people to stumble. It does say to dress modestly. But modesty is definitely NOT about shaming girls and going easy on the guys. This is a very popular myth because it places the blame solely on the girls. Which is easier to do, apparently. 

Why not instead teach the girls to honor herself, God, and everyone around her with her body and teach the guys to look upon the girls in his life with honor and respect?

Modesty needs to be an equal equation. Girls and guys throwing the blame back and forth isn’t doing any good for anyone. 

4. Telling girls to dress modestly is oppressing them.

Poor girl. Her school has a very unreasonable dress code and she is unable to express herself. Her teachers care more about what she’s wearing then her education. She really should protest against their oppressive boundaries.

I can’t be the only one who’s heard that story. Modesty is usually looked at with contempt and girls that are forced to follow it should be pitied. 

It’s sad that they’re taught that wearing less and less is freedom.

In Christianity, we have real freedom. Not freedom that the world teaches is cool or desirable, but a steady, trustworthy freedom from the world. That connects with modesty because following God’s commands (in modesty or anything) is never oppressive. 

5. Modesty is about hiding your body.

It’s not. It’s about revealing your dignity. Your worth. Your desire to honor God. It isn’t about hiding behind a dress because you’re ashamed of what you look like. 

Sometimes it seems that the worldly view of “confidence” is synonymous with immodesty, but again, this is a warped worldview. 

If you don’t feel the need to follow the ever-changing indecent trends, take it all off for attention and acceptance, and listen to what the world says is “in style,” then I’d say that’s real confidence. 

6. As long as you’re not in church, wearing whatever you want is fine.

The church building isn’t the real church. YOU are the real church. We, as Christians, are displaying Christianity everywhere we go and how we dress is a big part of that. Showing that Jesus is your Lord through decency and modesty (in deed and dress) is just as important in public as in a church building.

What are some modesty myths that you have heard? What would you say is the truth?


29 thoughts on “Debunking The Most Popular Modesty Myths

  1. This is such a great post, Melani!! Especially #3: EVERYONE THINKS THAT! Even I at some times! But it just isn’t true; God loves us, and wants us to be dignified, and full of his grace, which sometimes has a hard time showing when we aren’t dressing right.


  2. This is awesome! I’ve wanted to say exactly what you said forever! Please excuse me, but I’m like really excited because after reading your blog, it sounds like we’re being (or if you’re not a teen, you were) raised the same way! Thank you sooo, much!! 😊❤


  3. A more tragic myth is that for a girl or woman to be raped is about a lack of modest clothing or behavior. Rape is about control through violence.


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