Responding to “Men Prefer Debt-free Virgins Without Tattoos”

Hey guys! So today I have a lot of things running through my mind, and I’m going to try my best to form them into coherent thoughts.

A few days ago I was on Facebook and I found an article titled, Men Prefer Debt-free Virgins Without Tattoos.

Let me tell you guys, it was interesting. I wasn’t planning to write about it on here, but then I saw one of my favorite YouTubers, Katie Emmerson, address it in her most recent video. I loved a lot of the points she made, and so here I am, sharing my thoughts as well.

Before I jump into the actual content of the article, let’s look at the title. Men Prefer Debt-free Virgins Without Tattoos.

I see so many problems with this.

First of all, we are here to serve the Lord. Putting the emphasis on “what a man prefers” is putting men on a pedestal where they don’t belong.

Pleasing men shouldn’t be our goal. Are we followers of all men in general? No, we are followers of God and those in proper authority over us. (Not potential boyfriends.)

Just the mindset of “pleasing a man” is what gets so many girls into trouble. When you take the focus off of first pleasing a perfect, holy God and place it onto pleasing an imperfect, sinful man… this is dangerous and harmful.

Second, I am not looking to be “what a man prefers.” I don’t think any of us should! Also, how can one Christian lady vouch for all the men in the world? We could even narrow it down to Christian men and I still don’t see the accuracy of her statement. Also, why should we, as daughters of the Most High King, be looking to men to determine what kind of person we’re going to be?

No… we shouldn’t. This is about being a servant of God. Not a more attractive marriage candidate.

Third, Jesus tells us to come to HIM with our sins and He will wash us clean. Once we are sanctified in the Lord, He no longer sees a dirty, blemished sinner. We become His precious children! We are redeemed from our past. Redeemed. That means that He doesn’t hold our past against us.

Saying that your past or someone else’s is unforgivable is saying that you don’t believe in a perfect Savior.

What kind of message does it give to say that if you have debt, tattoos, or lost virginity, then you are not as good as the ones who don’t?

This totally seems like self-righteous Christianity here. God does not “rank” sin on a table of good and bad. You are not “more holy” in the eyes of God based on your actions. He looks at ALL of us as sinners washed by the blood of His Son.

Also, what if someone lost their virginity not by their choice?

Sexual assault happens all the time, and by saying that you’re less desirable to a man if this happened to you is so damaging.

I cannot imagine the personal turmoil a woman goes through in this situation, and then saying that they basically lost some (or all) of their worth…. wow. Just wow.

Ladies, this is a lie.

We serve a God of redemption. Do not look to a supposedly Christian article to define your worth. If a godly man doesn’t want you because you don’t meet the criteria of “debt-free virgin without tattoos,” it’s his loss.

Godly Christian men should prefer a woman who loves Jesus and serves Him now with her whole heart.

The past? She has been forgiven and set free.

In closing, your past doesn’t define you.

Once you are redeemed in Jesus, that is that. He says that He remembers your sin no more. That is the truth we should cling to.

I know there’s more that could be said on this subject, but I’m going to leave it at this for now. Thanks for visiting and have a wonderful day!


34 thoughts on “Responding to “Men Prefer Debt-free Virgins Without Tattoos”

  1. Wow this is amazing! I agree 100% with everything you said! At first glance that title is sort of confusing, but once you get down to it, you can see how badly it’s phrased and emphisised. Thank you Melani for posting this! I really really appreciate it. Have a great day. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  2. That is terrible! There is no hope for girls who have done stuff in the past or have done things that they regret. That’s why I’m so glad that God says that we don’t have to depend on men, but depend on Him. I’m so glad that we serve a gracious and forgiving God! There is so much hope and freedom in knowing that!

    Awesome post, Melani!

    Liked by 3 people

  3. AMEN AMEN AMEN! Just… yes, this. I didn’t look into what was going on with that article — but you hit the nail on the head! Especially about sexual assault and how terrible it is to say that’s a woman’s only worth.


  4. Thank you for posting this Melani! I also love Katie’s videos and watched this one. When I read the actual article, I thought it must have been a joke. I like your emphasis on not pleasing men, but God. This is so true. The only men we should try to please is our husbands, but in a healthy and loving way (not out of fear). And they should do the same for us. No one is perfect. Financial mishaps happen and things like tattoos are cultural. Purity goes way beyond virginity. All of these are heart issues that affect us all. It’s so sad how the writer of that article can’t see past that.


  5. Amen and amen! Just want you to know I’m a semi-new follower of your blog and it is such a blessing to find a young person standing and writing for what is right and holy! With God’s grace keep up the good work!


  6. Great post, Melani! Wasn’t Katie’s video so great? I totally agree with you – the title alone should send up some red flags from the beginning, and it did for me. This is such a dangerous mindset and it makes me so sad that people actually believe this . . .

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  7. First, I admit that I haven’t fully read the original article! Though I can see where she’s coming from I agree with your main response points. Our lives are about pleasing God, not men, and I feel like too much of the single Christian girl advice is about trying to fit a mold so a man (who may not be held to the same standard!) will marry you. Also, yes we are redeemed in Christ! It’s up to each couple to decide how much the past will effect their future; There are things that should be considered because they do make a difference, but no one should be discarded for what the Lord has forgiven.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Melani, I love how passionate you’re becoming about subjects like this!! The Lord is really working through you and your amazing blog posts about the many problems with our society. Girl, you should write a book. I’m serious.🤗😘

    Liked by 1 person

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