Why Modesty Is Better Than #StillNotAskingForIt

Wow, I thought. This is how some women that have been sexually assaulted stand up for themselves?

The woman was at some kind of march or protest. She had a bright smile on her face and was waving at people as they passed by. How else did she look? She was almost completely nude, and with the words “still not asking for it” painted on her stomach.

I know that there is SO much controversy over all of this, but for this post I want to talk about why women undressing in retaliation to being assaulted is bringing them more harm than good. It’s a mindset that needs to change.

First I want to address that I don’t believe women are to blame for a crime a man committed to them. I don’t believe women are dangerous objects that men just can’t control themselves around.

But this “still not asking for it” culture is getting it wrong.

I understand the point they’re trying to get across.

That no matter what a woman is wearing, rape is not her fault.

But… why must that belief be carried out by displaying nudity?

Why is causing a ruckus, and being loud/outrageous making your voice be heard?

Why is it applauded for a woman that has gone through a physical trauma to stand up for herself by showing her attacker or anyone else her body?

Dear girl who was assaulted,

Your worth is not gone. You are not dirty or less of a person now. What happened to you is absolutely terrible, and words cannot express how sorry I am.

However, I can’t say that I think walking around undressed is going to heal you. You need so much more than validation from our culture by taking your clothes off. That will never bring you real fulfillment or joy or peace.

You are a beautiful person, and you are worth so much more than that. There is a God out there who created YOU and knows your name. He is the only One who can make you feel whole again. He’s the only One who can take away your pain.

#stillnotaskingforit can never do that. It simply focuses on the problem instead of looking for a solution.

Which is finding freedom, hope, and recovery after a horrible crime committed to you.

My thoughts on #stillnotaskingforit.

No one asks to be raped. The argument on dress is given so much focus, but shouldn’t we instead be focusing on healing for these dear girls and women?

I’m going to be totally honest here. I feel like women mask their pain by being angry.

Inside I’m sure these women’s hearts just feel broken, but instead you see a loud, obnoxious girl at a march. This is how she is coping with the hurt.

Which is so sad, because she doesn’t have to go through that!

I know the road to recovery has to be far from easy, but I’m sure that these girls’ personal peace and well-being would be healed so much faster without #stillnotaskingforit taking the cake.

Why modesty is better than #stillnotaskingforit.

God didn’t create us to display our bodies for the whole world to see. This #stillnotaskingforit movement is more or less telling women that their value is cheap. That it doesn’t matter who sees their bodies.

Or that nudity can be used to make a point.

I personally feel like #stillnotaskingforit is degrading to women. Yes, their focus is that they are the victims and not the guilty, but… they are showing that in the wrong way.

Modesty is better because our bodies are not meant to be objects on display in order to make a point. We are human beings created in the very image of God, and because He loves us He tells us to dress modestly.

What are your thoughts?

Let me know in the comments! Have a wonderful day!


24 thoughts on “Why Modesty Is Better Than #StillNotAskingForIt

  1. I LOVE this article Melani!! No matter what others say continue being honest and Christ-like in all these amazing posts that you create! This is a very touchy subject and you hit it head on!! I agree 100% with everything you said above! I just want to also say that your articles are a huge help and encouragment for me!!!

    Liked by 6 people

  2. This is so heartbreaking. I am so with you, it wasn’t their fault but their handling with the hurt in the wrong way. Thank you for bringing this to my attention, your blog is so full of hope in a dark world. 🙃

    Liked by 6 people

  3. I agree that the whole #metoo movement and the like are irrational and infantalize women. Casting women as helpless victims like little children with no control over preventing these crimes seems like the opposite of the empowered feminist women. But then again, many of these women in #metoo who spoke out after decades obviously did it for other reasons than justice. How a woman acts or dresses does not justify unwanted assaults or advances, but one must realize that acting sexual will attract sexual attention, from men who do have nefarious intentions, and don’t as well, since they’re not mind readers, and sending off signals implies you do want sexual attention. The whole thing stinks to me of not wanting to take any responsibility for when you actually did have a part to play, such as not actually saying “no”, taking risks instead of being on your guard, dressing provocatively but expecting no one to actually take you up on your “offer”. It’s un PC to admit, but it’s the cold hard truth dress does matter. Is that fair? No! But that’s reality until we can change it. Women are not little children naive to sexual matters, and should be held accountable for their mistakes as well. Especially when they wait decades until they can get money or something for telling instead of reporting immediately to prevent other women from being hurt. All this “Nasty Woman” stuff is ridiculous in itself!

    Liked by 2 people

      1. It’s like, you wouldn’t believe a burglar has the right to steal someone’s property, but if the victim didn’t lock their doors, they are somewhat responsible too for the crime being able to happen. Causation does not equal justification… Taking steps to prevent one’s own victimization is not justifying the crime. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  4. That’s so sad. Sometimes mass amounts of hurt make people do the most surprising of things. Maybe instead of walking around naked, they can get some counseling or something. ☹️

    Liked by 3 people

  5. I love this!! So often people speak out against movements like this by turning to victim-blaming, but you’ve done an amazing job of really enforcing your belief that it is NEVER the victim’s fault!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I think you did an amazing job writing this post. And I’m in love with your idea of modesty. It’s nice to find someone else on here that understands the concept 🙂 I write about modesty as well as other things. Please feel free to check out my blog at http://www.redeemingsalvation.com I’m a new blogger, but reading your posts is giving me confidence to keep at it!


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